It's time for one of my extra-special catch-up posts, where I try to make up for a lack of blogging by throwing 4 or 5 disparate subjects together into one crazy post.
Tazers
By now everyone in baseball-loving America and beyond has seen or heard about the foolish young man who stormed the field at Philadelphia's Citizen's Bank Ballpark.
According to his father, the 17-year old Phillies fan (what is it with the City of Brotherly Love, anyway?) was not drinking nor was he on drugs. In fact, he called his dad prior to the incident to see if pops thought it would be a good idea to storm the field. His dad agreed that while a terribly stupid idea, it would be a once-in-a-lifetime event.
Phillies security obliged by ensuring that the young man's adventure would live forever in the hallowed halls of YouTube.
If you haven't seen the footage, here you go:
Should the kid have run on to the field? No. Of course not, sit in your seat and watch the game. Should the security officer have tazed him? Absolutely! Did you watch the footage? There's no way that guy was going to catch that kid otherwise. I don't see why he didn't just execute him on the spot. That would have taught everyone a lesson. (/sarcasm)
Revenge
There is a fantastic article on ESPN by Jerry Crasnick about the various unwritten rules of baseball and when the opposing pitcher should or should not retaliate. The article was likely came about in response to Dallas Braden's outburst earlier this season (see my article on this subject here).
To sum up Crasnick's discussion with Hall-of-Famers Jim Palmer, Bert Blyleven and Goose Gossage, I put together this handy-dandy written unwritten rule book:
If a batter or baserunner...
1. Admires a home run = Fastball to the ribs
2. Flips their bat = Fastball to the ribs
3. Trots too slowly on a home run = Fastball to the ribs
4. Steps on the mound = Who cares? Oh right, Dallas Braden
5. Calls timeout in your windup = Fastball to the ribs
6. Peeks at the catcher's signs = Fastball to the side of the head
7. Gets hit by a pitch on purpose = Hit them with a harder pitch
8. Take a homerun swing at a 3-0 pitch = Fastball in your ear
And God forbid one of your guys takes a fastball to the ribs, your pitcher damn well better return the favor.
If more pitchers these days followed "the rules", you'd see a lot less of this crap:
Death
Legendary Detroit Tigers broadcaster, Ernie Harwell, passed away yesterday at the age of 92. He had been battling terminal cancer for several months. I didn't know his name, nor did I recognize the pictures they showed on ESPN.
Still, when I heard a clip of him speaking I was instantly transported to the baseball of my youth.
Signing off on his final game back in 2002, Harwell put it as well as any broadcaster can:
"...Rather than goodbye, please allow me to say thank you. Thank you for letting me be a part of your family. Thank you for taking me with you to that cottage up north, to the beach, the picnic, your work place and your backyard. Thank you for sneaking your transistor under the pillow as you grew up loving the Tigers. Now, I might have been a small part of your life. But you've been a very large part of mine. And it's my privilege and honor to share with you the greatest game of all."
Now, that's class. Hey, speaking of class...
Milton Bradley
Seattle Mariners outfielder and patron saint of Imperfect Game, Milton Bradley, had quite a game last night. After striking out earlier in the game, Bradley came up with the bases loaded and his team trailing 3-1. With two strikes, Milton watched a fastball cruise right over the fat part of the plate for strike three.
That's when Mariners' manager Don Wakamatsu decided to pull Milton Bradley from the game. Bradley was so upset he left the dugout, stormed out of the clubhouse and left the stadium in a huff - before the game was over!
Now, I can't argue that Wakamatsu was right to pull his newly installed cleanup hitter after just six-innings and 2 strikeouts. I can argue - and rather successfully at that - that Milton Bradley is a childish a-hole and a cancer on whatever team decides to take a chance on him.
Said Wakamatsu after the game: "We talk about coming together as a club. We're kind of at a point right now, where, watching that game, I don't know if anyone in the clubhouse is proud of it. ... And some of those things we're going to address and fix. I promise you that."
Way to go, Don. Step one is admitting you have a problem. Step two is trading Milton Bradley to some unsuspecting sucker.
Oh yeah, the Cubs say "Thank you!"
Oh yeah, the Cubs say "Thank you!"
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